The Telly Nelly Blog

What Will Jonathan Wear on 'Top Design' Tonight?

It's come to the point where I'm only watching Bravo's 'Top Design' to see what *horrible* velvet jacket & over sized tie combo Jonathan Adler will be wearing tonight. Will it be made of carpet? Or perhaps made from muppets, as surely this tie from last week was...? Jonathan darling, if you're trying to start an big honkin' tie fashion revolution, it ain't workin' out for ya. You look like a puppet your head is so small. And for gods sake, put on some socks!!!! (And stop giving Kelly pills!)

Which brings us to Kelly Wearstler. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Yes, I'm sure she's a high fallootin' interior designer. But every week she treads into dangerous fashion territory by playing wardrobe roulette! I can just see her reaching into a gigantic walk-in-closet blindfolded and cobbling together whatever she ends up grabbing into one giant clusterf*ck of an outfit. In last week's episode, Kelly said she likes honest criticism. Let's put that to the test, shall we?

Kelly darling, you look like an 19th Century whore in this freakish outfit - in fact, you're looking a bit like Dee Schneider from 'Twisted Sister' fame with all that hair. (Did Jonathan Adler recommend this look? Not all homos know what they're talking about dear; never take fashion advice from a gay puppet.)

No, I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm being *honest*.

Yes, there *is* a difference. Tough love people!

LOGO Now Podcast-licious!

Looking to get LOGO on the run? Starting Tuesday, January 16th you can get five original audio and video podcasts from iTunes. For the rundown of offerings read on my pretties. I'm particularly tickled by 'Talking to Manatees'...I'm a sucker for sea mammals.

Though truly, the subject matter has little do do with the majestic manatee. They'd be quite shocked, I'm sure. (Deep down, the manatees are quite prudish.)

LOGO LAUNCHES FIRST AUDIO AND VIDEO PODCASTS

Quintet of podcasts include CBS News on Logo’s Jason Bellini’s Here and Now and Wisecrack stand-up

New York, NY— January 10, 2007 – Logo, a division of Viacom's (NYSE: VIA, VIA.B) MTV Networks (MTVN), announced today the January 16th launch of five original audio and video podcasts at Apple’s iTunes store, giving Logo’s audience access to in-depth news and fresh LGBT entertainment on the go and at the click of a mouse. Logo is the nation’s leading television and broadband channel for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) audience. 

“Logo aims to be a true multi-platform brand, serving gays and lesbians wherever they are, in whatever medium.  Podcasts are a powerful and efficient way to provide our audience with the deepest, most specialized content and we’re pleased to present the talents and views from this diverse group,” said Brian Graden, President, Entertainment, MTV Networks Music Group, and President, Logo.

The five initial podcasts officially launching January 16th on iTunes are:

Jason Bellini’s Here and Now – From the host of CBS News on Logo, this weekly video and audio podcast will provide a deeper layer to CBS News on Logo, presenting Bellini’s unique point of view and insight on the LGBT news of week.

Wisecrack – The best in LGBT stand-up, the Wisecrack podcast includes original material from up-and-coming comedians as well as performances from the Logo series.

She Said What? – From Logo’s AfterEllen.com, four co-hosts debate and dish on the week in lesbian entertainment and pop culture.  Logo’s talk show and first original program for the online platform will be available as a video and audio podcast. 

CBS News On Logo – Host Jason Bellini and a team of correspondents present the day’s LGBT news from the world of politics, health, events, entertainment, sports and community.   Available daily as audio and video podcast.

Talking to Manatees – AfterEllen.com’s legendary Scribe Grrrl and girlfriend Anna discuss the latest episode of The L Word in this weekly audio podcast.

Logo’s podcast launch is part of Logo’s efforts to provide the very best in LGBT entertainment and news wherever and whenever the LGBT audience wants it.  Logo currently offers the largest library of LGBT streaming video anywhere at LOGOonline.com, Logo shows are available for download at iTunes, Amazon Unbox and AOL video and Logo is available on mobile devices from Sprint and Amp’d.  Logo’s Noah’s Arc Season One is now available on DVD.  More distribution partnerships are on the way to ensure that Logo is reaching the widest possible LGBT audience.

The TellyCast for Wednesday, October 25

I swear, if I don't get over this cold soon...well, I'll be even *more* cranky and no-one wants that.

Anyhoo, without further delay - here's today's TellyCast!

Download tellycast_october_25.mp3

Telly Nelly Picks the Best Darn Gay TV for Tuesday, October 24

Well, now that we're all on the same page, let's have at it shall we? Personally, I'm not a fan of the Tuesday night and usually do some gaming. (Oh yes, The Telly Nelly must have his game!)

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Secret Lives of Women: I Married a Cross-Dresser"

8:00 p.m. ET - WE

Wow, this is *always* on!  Carrieanne's fiance is a cross dresser; and grandparents from Texas talk about their cross-dressing experiences.

"Help Me Help You"

9:30 p.m. ET - ABC

Jonathan (Jim Rash), the guy who doesn't know he's gay, lies to his wife about who he's going to the big basketball game with. It's the Knicks for any of you who may care. I could care. Frankly, I wish it were a Harlem Globetrotters game - those boys have grit! Now, watch if you will, I won't hold it against you. I'm just really not a Ted Danson fan. He creeps me out, like a Bizarro version of Anderson Cooper. I'm just sayin'! (I'm not even sure I liked him in "Cheers.")

"Independent Lens: The World According to Sesame Street"

10:00 p.m. ET - PBS

While it can't be proven "Sesame Street" made me gay, I'm pretty sure Mr. Snuffleupagus had something to do with it. Seriously. It also taught me to spell, read and count! This documentary takes a look at Sesame street all over the globe, showing how the time-tested children's favorite has spread its buttery love in such diverse regions as Kosovo and China, Germany and Bangladesh. Ah Snuffy, you warm me so.

"Joan Rivers: Before Melissa Pulls the Plug"

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

I'm not going to say anything mean about Joan because I'm terribly, terribly afraid she'd come to my house and do bad things to me. In this very special show, Joan does her thing - like it or lump it! I can see how Melissa might be tempted...

"Nip/Tuck"

10:00 p.m. ET - FX

Why do all the cute ones go crazy? A secret from Sean's childhood makes him move surgery ahead of schedule and Mrs. Grubman makes her final request for cosmetic surgery. Roma Maffia will be kickin' it around as the lesbian anesthesiologist Liz Cruz. Enjoy the merriment!

The TellyCast for Monday, October 23

Here it is darling - enjoy like you've enjoyed no other!

Download telly_cast_october_23.mp3

GLBT Television Picks - Monday, October 23

Oh but I'm good today. Well, I'm good every day, but I'm very good today.

Shameless!

Since there's so much good stuff going on, I'm posting this now but will get the TellyCast up here later! (You don't want to miss Amy Sedaris on "Martha" after all.)

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"The Martha Stewart Show" - Amy Sedaris!

Syndicated - Check your local listings

Amy Sedaris is one of Martha's very special guests and I expect they'll be discussing dear Amy's new party-planning book - "I Like You." Amy, I *love* you. I wish I were straight and that you were into me. I'd die a happy man. (Likely twice.) I have the book, of course - and so should you. Go buy it right away! And don't miss watching Amy! (But fret not - you can always watch it online tomorrow after 6:00 p.m. ET.)

"Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising" - Premiere Repeat

7:00 p.m. ET - LOGO

Episode two airs at 10:00 p.m. tonight but I didn't want you to miss out on the premiere if you haven't seen it yet. See below for more info!

"The Class"

8:30 p.m. ET - CBS

Rabbit impalement is never a pretty thing and it's rare to see this issue discussed in the mainstream. Happy Halloween Holly! In other news, Perry (Sam Harris) is a big fan of Halloween (just like Laura from "Project Runway") and decides to dress his daughter, Oprah, as Audrey Hepburn. That's also very Laura. Expect to see Sean Maguire as Kyle and Cristian de la Fuente as his partner Aaron - I'm not sure how they'll be involved, but I hope they're watching Holly spike the bunny!

"The Line of Beauty" - Repeat of last night's episode

8:30 p.m. ET - LOGO

I prefer humor to British shenanigans but you, you're deep like the ocean and just as unpredictable! In episode two,  Nick and Wani are immersed in drugs, threesomes, and appeasing the elite. Yeah, I did that once. It's called wor king at Starbucks!

"Heroes"

9:00 p.m. ET - NBC

That silly Claire tells her father about her abilities and hopefully mentions he's got the queerest set of glasses this side of Bill Pullman. Niki gets questioned by the police question about her husband (who I suspect has Kitty Pride like phase powers) and Matt's mental ability helps his relationship with his wife. The plucky hero, Hiro, gets into trouble in Las Vegas. I think we'll be treated to a little Thomas Dekker - Claire's friend Zack, who I suspect is gay and at some point will drop the bomb in a casual way. (Not that it matters, mind you. He's not doing much right now...but you never know what'll go down as Claire seems to be central to everything.)

"Justice"

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

Man, that Erin Daniels - she's everywhere! Last night she appeared on "Dexter" and tonight she's Betsy Harrington on "Justice." Will wonders never cease? For those waiting for more Dana on "The L Word," you'll have to check yourself until early 2007...but first you must survive the holidays!

"VH1 All Access: Hottest Pets" (pretty damn gay)

9:00 p.m. ET - VH1

Oh what the hell, I watch ", why not this? It's an examination of the very special relationship some celebrities have with their pets. Hi Tori - love you!

"Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising"

10:00 p.m. ET - LOGO

Now there's a hook - this fresh n' poppin' gay band features twin brothers raised by Jehovah Witnesses. They really are quite poppalicious - I listen to their website while I'm getting dressed in the afternoon. (A true lady is never seen before 2 pm) I *am* number one in heaven, thank you very much! But you? You're a close second! *wink* I'm going to hell. Tonight is extra fresh and juicy as the brothers return to Montana to come out to their parents. Which brother gets to spill the beans? (Like it's *any* surprise they're gay? Then again, Jehovahs do have a penchant to overlook the obvious.) Silly Jacob, you don't bring your boyfriend to come out to your parents...it's just not done. Even to your parents.

"Weeds"

10:00 p.m. ET - Showtime

Peter puts his foot down hard and Doug and Celia's dirty little secret turns serious. Nancy and Conrad make a bargain, but I'm terribly, terribly worried for them all. Everyone except Celia's daughter Isabelle, of course. She can take anyone!

GLBT Television 10.19.06

Now that I've (nearly) gotten all my "Project Runway" thoughts out of my system, let's get to today's TV!

What's on The Telly Tonight?

Download october_19_tellycast.mp3 

"Smallville"

8:00 p.m. ET - CW

Green Arrow hotness - courtesy of Justin Hartley! What more needs to be said?

"Survivor: Cook Islands"

8:00 p.m. ET - CBS

Regardless of who wins the challenges, each tribe will be voting out another member tonight - I don't think Brad's going anywhere as he's not been rocking any boats, unlike his fellow tribe mates. You know...this season is fun when I'm watching, but when I'm not I could care less about the contestants. Could this be my last "Survivor?" Probably not, but it's tempting!

"Ugly Betty"

8:00 p.m. ET - ABC

Love the Betty and if you watch tonight, you'll know why as she rocks the most coveted bag in Mode history. I'm sure we'll see plenty of Marc (Michael Urie) and that's a delicious thing indeed!

"Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel"

10:00 p.m. ET - MTV

I wish they aired this show on Monday night - Thursday already has enough going on, thanks! But blessed be the Tivo, which lets me capture and watch Brad's tight pants over and over and over again. My but he's stacked. HOT! But anyhoo...the girls compete tonight and while I feared Tina would be going home for smacking Beth, I think the producers gave her a pass since it was such a lousy punch and because Beth was asking for it. Beth is gross, true - but more repulsive in my humble opine is that boobed-up tramp, Casey. Such a f*cking vapid whore, her parents should be ashamed for not aborting. There's no chance that Tyler from "Key West" will be going home as it's a girls elimination challenge, but Aneesa could be on the chopping block. (I think it's pretty much guaranteed that Beth'll pick Tina.) On a totally unrelated note, gosh and golly, how much do I love Diem? Sigh...she's my hero. (And a freakin' stunning one at that!)

"Drawn Together"

10:30 p.m. ET - Comedy Central

In yet another rather disturbing episode, Foxxy Love confronts her spelling phobia and Captain Hero discovers Clara gets off on car crashes. (Thus the disturbing part.) Xandir will be on hand to lend much gayness...love the Xandir!

Thoughts on "Project Runway" Finale

Well, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.

Obviously Uli had the most marketable collection - and the most versatile and wearable one at that. If this had been Season 2, she would have won, hands down.

I think Bravo felt the need to make a statement. The first year they gave it to the wearable punk guy. The second season they gave it to the simple elegance girl. The third season they gave it to the 'innovative' goth guy.

Does this mean I can now attach loose shoe laces to all my clothes and be in style?

I don't expect to see anyone walking down the street in Jeffrey's designs, unless the fashion world undergoes a circus-fashion revival. All those straps, ugly striped patterns and wonky lines - are we sure Jeffrey's girlfriend isn't slipping heroin into his coffee?

Heh.

Laura's collection was indeed beautifully constructed, but not at all versatile. She might have had a chance if she made something other than evening wear, but that's her thing and she should be proud. Poor Michael's hooker line was exactly what I expected.

Uli's designs are going to make far more moolah in one year than Jeffrey's will likely make in a lifetime. This is because her clothing will *sell* like there's no tomorrow while Jeffrey's clothing could easily be worn the day after there's no tomorrow...if I ever need a designer to create something for me to wear in a nuclear winter, I'll certainly give him a call.

Blah.

And I'm curious - which outfit of his exactly would one wear to the movies?

Heck no, I'm not bitter. I'm just amazed at apparently how little I know about fashion!

And not to be bitchy, but anyone else think his model is/was as dull as dishwater? Yawn!

I'm sorry (well, no...I'm not) but I really hate 75% of his designes. Take this model - she looks like she's wearing a gay jellyfish, not a swimsuit!

And I'm not alone, judging by Jeffrey's lower than low "Rate The Runway" ratings...go figure!

Okay, okay...I'm letting go now.

No, really!

Girl - Hear What I Gots to Say About "America's Next Top Model"

Girl, I'm oozing.

Download antm_october_18.mp3

GLBT Television Picks 10.18.06

Well now, it's a busy little Wednesday, isn't it? Bravo! (Literally.)

What's on The Telly Tonight? 

Download october_18_tellycast.mp3

"The Martha Stewart Show" - Charo!

Syndicated - check your local listings

Charo. Charo. Charo. Charocharocharo. CHARO! CHARO! CHARO! Buy her CD, her posters, her electric toothbrush, her office stationary set, her dish detergent line - buy it all!!!!!! Charo is a musical goddess!  (Why yes, I do like Charo.) "Martha" used to re-air on TLC every night at 6:00 p.m. ET but I guess that deal went south - luckily you can catch yesterday's episode on www.MarthaStewart.com each day at 6:00 p.m. ET if you missed one, so Charo will be available on-line tomorrow if you missed her today. (Poor soul - I recorded it so I can watch it over and over and over and over and over and over and over...)

"America's Next Top Model"

8:00 p.m. ET - CW

Normally I'd be all a tizzy knowing Janice Dickinson will be making an appearance to judge the girls on a red carpet challenge, but since there's big gay news a brewin', she's on the back burner. So is twin Michelle gay or what? (Or is it her sister, Amanda? Golly I just don't know!) I don't even think *she* knows and that's quite fine with me...heck, even The Telly Nelly was undecided for a while. (About .2 seconds but still!) "ANTM" is the *perfect* compliment to "Project Runway" darlings - if you watch one, you should watch the other. It's a no brainer - just like Melrose! As always, Jay Manuel will be on the set and Miss J. Alexander will throw out all sorts of zingers - love her! Tonight the girls must pose as celebrity couples for the photo shoot challenge; delicious!

"The Ride: Seven Days to End AIDS" - Marathon

8:00 p.m. ET - LOGO

If you missed this show when it aired last year, now you can watch the entire miniseries all in one night. As you might imagine, this series focuses on the AIDS ride and a number of those making the trek to raise money to fight the disease.

"National Geographic Explorer"

8:00 p.m. ET - National Geographic Channel

Tonight it's all about methamphetamine, which isn't gay per se - but close enough. You know they'll be mention of its popularity with the gays...a crying shame really. What's wrong with good ol' pot?

"Project Runway" - Season Finale

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

Though much will-they/won't-they buzz surrounds the Laura/Jeffrey cheating 'controversy' I think it's just hype inflated to the extreme by the Bravo PR machine. (They're damn good at making mountains out of mole hills and can drum up artificial drama faster than the girls from "America's Next Top Model" - damn, that's fast!) So expect Jeffrey to stay and Laura to shrug. (My girl don't apologize to nobody!) Oh dear...I might be way to into Laura as it is - I dreamed I helped her through the child-birth process last night. Lots of dilation and such but I shan't get into it...I remember how cool it was to hang with Laura though, isn't that frightening? Anyhoo...I'm thinking Uli will win but you never know, Jeffrey might squeak into the top spot with his designs - they looked somewhat interesting on the rack, but might look like crap once they get on the models. Michael? I'd like him to win (not as much as I'd like Laura to win) but I just don't see it happening with his high-class hooker line. Same with Laura and her conservative yet gloriously constructed offerings. But man, it'd be great if Laura won. Regardless, I can't wait to see what walks down the runway; that's what it's all about! As for gayness, none of the designers are gay, but you know The Fab Five will be in the audience, they always are!

"Born a Boy, Brought Up a Girl"

10:00 p.m. ET - TLC

Not into fashion? This might interest you...after a tragic accident (ouch), David's parents must decide to raise their son as a girl - and for the next 14 years (and with the advice of a top doctor, or should I say evil quack?) David believes he's a girl. But you know...some things just weren't meant to be...watch and learn people, this could happen to you or one you love!

"Top Chef" - Season Premiere

11:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

You know the drill - 15 up and coming (somewhat) chefs compete for $100,000 in seed money and the title of "Top Chef." Where do they get these chefs? Chefs R Us? Hey - if you don't know how to flambe, perhaps you shouldn't be in the competition! Tonight you'll be introduced to two gay chefs - Carlos Fernandez the executive chef from Ft. Lauderdale and Josie Smith-Malave, the sous chef from Brooklyn. My money's on Josie...and after tonight you'll see why. She's pretty fierce too as she's a professional women's football player when she's not cooking yummy food - don't mess with this girl, I'm warning you! Plus I just hate that silly partial beard Carlos is sporting...ick! Hopefully this season will be more about the cooking and less about the drama, but again we're talking Bravo - don't count on it. (Drama is their most popular side dish...like the smashed potatoes of reality programming.) If you liked last season's "TC" action, you'll like this season as well - especially since they've ditched Madame Billy Joel for a real expert - cookbook author Padma Lakshmi. (The camera loves her!) Tonight processed American cheese gets a bad name - bastards! It's good to see Chef Tom Colicchio is as hot as ever...sizzlin' hot, in fact.